


A Loaf of Bread

by ShitpostingfromtheBarricade



Category: Les Misérables - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Drabble, Enjolras POV, Established Relationship, F/F, Flirting, Get-Together Fic, I decided to spare y'all, I nearly had a line about stealing a loaf of bread, I'm just so so very impressed, M/M, and tbh I'm not even mad, and what works with some gay men, because lbh we do, bit of a crack fic, but there's different difficulty levels here, gay flirting vs lesbian flirting to be specific, it's insanity, kind of?, okay so let's talk flirting tho, trollololololol, we all like to say we suck, would NEVER fly with most lesbian women
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-30
Updated: 2018-07-30
Packaged: 2019-06-18 19:36:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 739
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15493161
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShitpostingfromtheBarricade/pseuds/ShitpostingfromtheBarricade
Summary: Enjolras is not in the mood for grocery shopping and especially not in the mood to be hit on.Warnings: implications of a hook-up in the future, language





	A Loaf of Bread

Enjolras is aware of his appearances and the responses they elicit, he really is. He has been since high school when he started getting all sorts of attention from everyone—men, women, nonbinary, young, middle-aged, disgustingly old. He should be accustomed to it by now.

He’s not.

So when he and Cosette walk into the grocery store on a Saturday morning, he is utterly unprepared for the hassle he receives. Despite both having shown up in their pajamas, thermos of coffee still steaming in their hands and looking every bit the exhausted college students that they are, he has had no fewer than three store associates offer very enthusiastic and unsolicited help in his search for bread, coffee beans, and a pair of socks.

He and his roommate had decided that splitting up would make the process faster and less painful, but at least when they're together people take them for a couple and leave him alone. 

He’s reached the bottom of his thermos and goes to the coffee counter for a refill, bracing himself for the awful flavor. He knows he’ll need another cup before they leave and alerts an employee that he has emptied the pot, stepping away before they can do more than eye him up and down.

He’s still grimacing his way through the mug when he arrives at the bread. He’s working his way through the varieties and prices when he hears a voice beside him.

“You shopping for freshness or price?”

Enjolras looks over and blinks. The woman peers up at him through the her bangs, smirking. 

Enjolras makes a questioning noise, not ready to form words this morning.

“If you’re looking for the freshest bread, it should be up in about five minutes, over by the cookies. Jean’s on today, and he makes the best brioche in the province.

“If you’re looking for the day-old stuff, it should have just gotten moved over by the cupcakes. 75% off is a tough deal to beat.”

Enjolras gives her an odd look, electing to take another deep swig of his coffee. 

“If you’re looking for my name, however, it’s Eponine,” she offers, winking. “All of that information, and all I’d like in exchange is your number—willingly given, of course.”

Enjolras can no longer remain quiet.

“I’m sorry to disappoint you, but I’m gay.”

“Oh my God,” the girl says, seeming genuinely surprised and apologetic. “I am so sorry, I thought you were a woman!”

They both stand there for a moment longer staring at one another before they start laughing. 

“I can’t say that’s a problem I’ve ever encountered before,” says Enjolras when the laughter subsides. Eponine is leading him to this baker of hers, and they’re both still grinning.

“I’m usually slightly better at picking them, I’ll admit.”

They have a minute to wait before the bread is out of the oven, and Eponine suddenly jerks to attention. “R! R, over here!”

R? What kind of a name is R? Enjolras looks up to see a tired-looking man around his own age, wild dark curls sticking every direction, and bright blue eyes. He also holds a coffee thermos and looks dead to the world until his eyes fall on Enjolras.

They regard each other for a moment. R nods his head toward the door, briefly, eyebrows raising in joint question. Enjolras nods once, hands Eponine his groceries, and they both walk toward the door.

“Are. You. Fucking kidding me???” screeches Eponine behind them. 

Enjolras stops short. “I have a friend, Cosette. She should be over in the dairy section. I’m sure she’d love your help finding some fresh bread.” He pauses to send a meaningful glance. “Good luck.”

Eponine’s eyes widen for a moment before she hurries, socks and coffee beans gripped tightly.

Upon exiting, the two begin their walk toward Enjolras’s apartment, hand in hand.

“Do you think we should tell her?” Enjolras asks.

“Let her sweat it out. I’m sure she’ll figure it out soon enough.”

They walk in silence for several more moments. “'R'? Really?”

The man in question grins. “I knew you’d take issue with that.” 

“R isn’t a nickname, it’s a letter. I refuse to use it. Especially,” Enjolras says, stopping them both in their tracks, “when ‘Grantaire’ is such a lovely name.” 

Enjolras brushes some curls aside and leans in to kiss Grantaire’s forehead.

“Definitely let her wait it out,” Grantaire grins when Enjolras pulls away.

**Author's Note:**

> That's right, it was SECRETLY an ESTABLISHED RELATIONSHIP ALL ALONG!!
> 
> Okay but I swear to God my gay male friends have legitimately done this before with total strangers, and it's worked. And I know it's not just me misinterpreting what I'm seeing because they've relayed similar stories as well. 
> 
> ANYWAY, I'm sure you were hoping for something of actual quality. Tragically, I am horribly writer's blocked over a piece I'm working on, so this was just to loosen up the gears. Dedicated to my wonderful Sword Lesbians chat. <3
> 
> Inspired by [this](http://justdesti-el.tumblr.com/post/65645846992/helenas-hood-friendly-reminder-that-yesterday) and [this](http://fareeeha.tumblr.com/post/172985096315/the-only-way-enjonine-could-happen-is-enjolras)!
> 
> Feel free to comment here or message me at my [tumblr page](http://shitpostingfromthebarricade.tumblr.com)!


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